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My wife is a smoker. She keeps telling me that she has stopped and stuff but she smokes behind my back. What should I do to stop her from smoking as we are planning a baby?

Elvi says: 90% of the time, telling people that smoking kills does not help. Had that been the case then the packing would have been a great deterrent. Girls are emotional and linking cigarettes with the baby should make her realize the danger to the unborn baby. Asking her to do it in front of you will let you know how much she actually smokes. Videos should do the job as no mother would want her baby to suffer. Fear is definitely a factor in your case so use this to your advantage.

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My son started using the ‘F’ word recently. On enquiring how he learned the same he replied that it was cool and everyone on the street uses it.

Elvi says: Not cool. Let him know who is the boss and the difference between what is cool and what is not. Be strict yet not harsh and do not force your views upon him. He uses the street as an analogy so you should do the same and I am sure he’ll understand. And thank god that you were not born in the Americanos.

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I recently found out my best friend who I am in touch with over the phone every day is in love with me. I am married and I love my husband too. I don’t know what to do as I don’t want to hurt either one.

Elvi says: Well I would say your friend missed the train. What was he doing all this while? There is no problem actually. You should be more worried about hurting your husband then your friend. Tell him where his place is and live happily after or try being diplomatic and invite trouble for the future. The choice is yours.