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After five years of being together, my partner left me and our two  children.  I am finding it very hard to cope with day to-day life and find myself snapping at them.  The worst thing about it all is that now I am completely on my own.  I don’t really have many reliable friends where I live and no family, only his family - who just want me to stay up there because of the children.  However my family who are many miles away are not too reliable either.  I am completely on my own, and feel stuck.  I can’t do anything about it - I cannot socialize because I have no one to look after the children.  My ex-husband and his family won’t help either.  Please help me.  I feel completely on my own and  I’m so lonely. Thank you for reading my message. 

Tanya

Dear Tanya,

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so lonely and unsupported.  Break-ups can be very hard at first but it is possible to recover from them and rebuild a happy life. For now I would suggest you to be strong for the sake of your children. Be strong for them and find happiness in them. Most of all learn to trust people around you too.

 

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I just joined a great company but I have found one flaw: a co-worker who works no more than 3 hours in an 8-hour workday. She spends time at lunch, shopping, personal phone calls, and chatting with other workers. Her behavior makes me think she has no respect for her fellow co-workers. I have to take up the slack. She has been here for two years and I just don’t see how she keeps her job. Should I make waves and complain about her performance, or go with the flow?

Yours Diana

Darling Diana,

She can only make you look good. She is performing at sub-par and you are performing well.  I do not know why your manager is tolerating her poor work habits.  I wouldn’t go there. If you complain, you will look bad, and perhaps rock a boat no one wants moved.

See if you can find the humour in her behaviour, so you won’t feel put upon or short changed. Face it; you may have been hired to fill in for her incompetence.

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My mother and I are really close. I am 18. There is only one problem. She doesn’t know I go out with boys. She is always telling her friends that I am different and not interested in that sort of thing. I want to know if I should tell her. The one other time I lied to her she cried because I kept a secret from her. I need help.

Yours, Tina

Dear Tina,

I do not blame you for keeping your secrets. It’s the age that makes you do things .However; I still think you should be honest with your Mom since you are very close to her. I am sure it will hurt her to hear that you have been untruthful, but it is even more important that you owe up to her and apologize. I am sure you wanted her to be proud and brag about you, and it is sad to disappoint her.

I advise you to sit down with her privately and tell her everything. Remember to apologize. Ask for help in learning to be open and truthful, even when the truth is difficult. To be caught in a lie is one thing, but to owe up to a lie on your own and apologize is a way to build good strong character.