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How Powerful does she feel?

As the elections draw closer, the television channels are flooded with the usual election-special shows, debates, discussions, live coverage of the aggressive speech by the election candidates, so on and so forth. But one conspicuous element of this year’s election promotions and campaigns has been the emphasis on the presence of 49% female electorates. From finding the topmost priority in the list of agendas of the popular MPs to inspiring the storyline for the audio-visual advertisement of a leading tea brand, 49% female

electorates seem to be claiming the spotlight everywhere.

And why not? All of us have been talking about women empowerment, and the changing position of women in India. But the question that remains to be answered is whether women empowerment is really happening in India, or is it a mere idea that’s been used as a promotional strategy for products as well as for the elections?

It is very common to sing paeans to the past glory of the brave women in India, and how we idolize Devi Shakti and female fertility. But what matters is the present, instead of basking under the great mythology or the glory of the past. And the harsh reality of today’s India is that women are still treated as fiddlesticks. According to the 2011 census, the female literacy rate in India is recorded at 53.7% against the 75.3% male literacy rate. This chasm of 13% speaks a lot about the condition. And even among the 53.7% of the literate lot, how many of them really feel empowered is a thing of doubt. A well-educated woman begs a good job; but every evening, while returning home, she feels the threat of greedy eyes over her in the lonely dark lanes. What more, if anything untoward happens to her, she also has to slouch under the burden of browbeaters and the so-called watchdogs of the society who don’t waste a second in pointing that the woman should not have been alone, she should have covered herself properly, she should not have ventured out late at night, or she should not have joined a company with late-night working hours. Unfortunately, most of the people talk about prevention and protection of the victim, but none talks about changing the mindsets of the culprits. And the saddest part is that even a woman does not understand the plight of another woman.

North-East India takes special pride in the fact that women command genuine respect in this part of the world. Of course I agree. But unfortunately, even this fact is slowly but certainly turning into a thing of the past now. Be it the rising cases of rapes or of witch-hunting, North-East has also started to follow the shameful trend of the nation. What sort of women empowerment are we talking about if they aren’t even allowed to decide their movements freely outside their houses without fear? Women empowerment is about breaking personal limitations of a woman. She is free to take decisions, free to move about and free to follow a particular philosophy of life. Judging her character or building a foul image of hers by the clothes she wear, by the things she eats or drinks, by the number of male friends she keeps, or by the time she gets inside her house in the evening is a definite infringement upon the empowerment that all of us are so much talking about these days.

While as a woman it is easy to blame it on the males, but one cannot deny that the women are equally responsible for their own plights. No matter how many bills are passed, laws are made, and politicians make it a part of their agendas, women empowerment isn’t possible unless and until the women of the house understand it, support it, and pass it on to their progeny. A woman who keeps quiet, has no voice of her own, and gives in to any sort of demand from her husband inflates the male ego of her son, and conveys a wrong notion to her daughter that women are weak and are supposed to simply adjust and endure. Such feeble approach of women might sound a little extreme in the North-East where women still enjoy a better position than those in the rest of India. However, there are small gestures from women even in the North-East that usually goes unnoticed, but which adds to the dwindling position of the fair sex. While kitchen is supposed to be woman’s department, it is seen in almost every household that the children as well as the men of the house dine first, followed by the ladies. Also, the biggest pieces of fish and meat, and the best curries are served to the men, while the ladies remain contended with the smaller pieces. So when Aparajita, a media professional, made some cereals and a mug of coffee for herself on coming back home after a hectic day at the office, her mother-in-law was quick to insinuate that while her husband was still grueling in the office, she was leisurely eating her cereals. But the question is would the mother-in-law have done the same if her son was eating the cereals while her daughter-in-law was still out in the office? The answer in most possible cases is a big ‘No’. This rather inconspicuous, taken-for-granted incident has two important aspects hidden in it: first, it directly hits on the right of a woman to eat, drink or sleep when she wants to, irrespective of the whereabouts of the man or men in her life; and second, it fattens the sense of self-worth of the husband who subconsciously begins to feel like being the superior individual. And in this case, unfortunately, it is a woman who is to be blamed.

Ask any middle-class parents, and they will proudly say that they believe in gender equality; and the high education of their daughters substantiate their belief. That is true to a large extent. Most of the parents, these days, do support girl-education. However, how often has a girl, on the verge of completing her education, heard her parents and relatives say, “Oh, with her qualifications, she can easily get into a small, less-tedious job in order to earn her pocket-money.”? How often is she asked to get into a job that won’t consume maximum of her time, so that her job won’t pose a problem once she gets married? I’m sure a lot of women must be shouting inside, “Oh my God! That’s me!” Allowing a woman to do a job isn’t about lulling her with a decent pocket-money; it is rather about giving her the freedom to make her identity, to choose her destiny, and to take up her own responsibility.

Unfortunately, even in the educated families, where a father feels proud of his daughter, but she forever remains a responsibility…the responsibility of her parents before marriage, responsibility of her husband after marriage, and a responsibility of her son in the oldage. Unless and until we break from this notion; and unless and until women try to come out of this ‘Oh, I’m so vulnerable’ zone, the vision of a women-empowered India will only remain a dream. After all, power cannot be snatched; it needs to be built from within.

Satarupa Mishra

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