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I am currently in my first serious relationship in a while and have had to acknowledge to myself that I am completely addicted to it.  Time spent away due to holidays etc. is completely torture: I find myself sobbing at the thought of my boyfriend and I being parted for the next two weeks.  I want to spend as much time with him as possible but then I have had my heart broken before and always look at my relationships with a pessimistic approach.  I am constantly thinking that he doesn’t love me as much as I love him.  I want to stop and get a grip of myself but I can’t.  I have a constant lump in my throat and am breaking out in cold-sores because of how stressed I let it make me feel.  I really feel I need help as I am crying myself to sleep too often.  I really need help.  Please will you give me advice?

Ibadahun

Dear Iba,

There’s love and then there’s desperation.  You’ve become aware that you’ve slipped into the latter and you’ve been making yourself desperately unhappy.  Here are some thoughts which will help you - if you have the courage to apply them. A two-pronged approach is best.  You need to deal both with the physical stress you’ve inflicted on yourself and with the thoughts that have triggered this.  I hope you’ll go and talk things through with your doctor.